adaptation Life balance Stress management

Depression: Yuck to the Muck

Each October, as Mama Nature paints our trees in perfect shades of orange, gold and red, I always recall October, 2000. That was the fall I colored my world after wiping away the gray. I’m not talking about my hair, but my life. In October 2010, I first wrote about my depression, and seriously, I’ve never had more feedback, comments and questions. It’s four years later and just like the Olympics (every four years whether you need them or not) it’s time to bring this topic up.

I told you how I got my joy back after beginning treatment, and that’s the truth. And while millions of people resort to medication, there are some of us who really need it. For others, I suspect, it’s a crutch or an escape from a dastardly situation, with which they can’t step up and be honest. Before my main point, please think of people on medication not as athletes on steroids, but rather, medication brings us up to normal, so that we may compete, work, live and play with the rest of you. I like that explanation. For years, I thought I was cheating as a professional speaker. I thought to myself, “Well, sure, it’s easy for me to find the humor in life and laugh at the little things. Heckfire! I’m on medication!” Well, so are most humorists and comedians. Laughter comes from pain, remember? I wonder, still, how my keynote of tips and tools resonates with attendees who are struggling through their own Olympics of depression. If someone is struggling, then perhaps they haven’t sought out help. There is help out there, whether you have insurance or not. Just do it.

New angle… Those of us under the cruel hand of depression are so wrapped up in our own muck, we forget about our loved ones who had to live WITH us. In my self-centeredness, I had no idea, until my husband shared his experience and that of our children, who I thought were oblivious at young ages. Were not. Jeff has reminded me more than once at what a bitch I was. Moi? Oui! How he didn’t know which mood was going to enter the door after work. He started dinner so many nights –bless that man- because he didn’t think I could handle it, kids homework, dog and house and and and. He was right. His blood ran like ice water, each time I ran errands and was out too long, for fear that I had finally gotten to the edge of some cliff. Reflecting back, I was never THAT close to the edge that I would end it all, but I did kind of wonder how I would survive the next twenty to thirty years feeling like crap. And truthfully, I nearly ALWAYS outrun my ETA with errands. Still do. I’m bad that way. Jeff still worries about relapses when I’m gone too long.
If you’ve lived with a depressed person, will you share your experience, from any perspective: spouse, child, parent, friend and etc? We all need some insight to get beyond our own pain. And please share this post if it moves you in some little way. Empathy gets the gold medal when we can understand the other person’s position. Jeff assures me they’re better people for having gone through this with me. Love you guys. Thanks. I’m sorry. Yuck to the muck. bw

By bobbewhite

Speaker~Author~Certified Laughter Leader (Seriously!) I look at life with a sense of humor and the gift of laughter and help organizations do the same. I try to write the way I talk, so you will find me less stuffy than Miss Huddleston's English Class and and a step above a toddler. I figure that if we all "play attention" to humor in our daily routines, and we'll all have more joy and less stress in this thing called life.

11 replies on “Depression: Yuck to the Muck”

Thanks for this insightful and considerate blog. I have lived with depression and with someone with depression (Mom). The Fall always seems to be a bit of an extra struggle…less natural light and the dread of the cold that is coming. I am blessed to call you my friend! MB



Words of wisdom my dear Bobbe. I am in complete agreement with you. No one, no not one, need to live in silence. God is love. And love abounds everywhere. All one need do is humble oneself to share. So happy you and Jeff humble yourselves to one another that pride does not stand in the way!!!


MB – Sure do appreciate your feedback. Almost as much as the endorphins you passed out on Halloween! That was GREAT! Would love to find a time for lunch in near future to catch up further. Have a good S.H.I.T. day (So happy it’s Thursday!) XO, Bobbe


Thanks for your feedback Paula. It’s always a bit intimidating to put something like this out there, but I guess I am fairly comfortable with it because I know this problem does not continue to define me, it’s just one piece of the puzzle!


Oh, Sandy! That made my day that you thought enough of the post to pass it on. On a topic like this, one never knows if it will be a blessing or a curse to put it out there. On the other hand, I guess I don’t care, because I know it doesn’t define me. Anyway, in unrelated news, but no less depressing, we moved Dad into the Veterans Home 10/22. Poor guy. He misses Mom desperately and just wants to know when he will get out. Fortunately, when we slide over a definitive answer, he doesn’t remember. There are so many chapters to this saga as elderly parents move through the end stages, as you know. But I’m dealing fine – while my sister is struggling. Sometimes I swear I don’t know how we are related!!! Still want to walk with you some day if we can coordinate our times.


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