Time to buy your candy. The closer we get to the 31st, the cheaper it gets by the pound. I can’t buy candy too far ahead, because it mysteriously disappears in the house, before it ever makes it into a kid’s treat bag. The dog doesn’t look fatter, so I don’t think it’s her…
Millions of us wait for the “Fun Size” in every candy brand. It’s like Christmasween. In fact, there are few holidays that spark as much excitement in a child as Halloween. Just ask one, “What are you going to be for Halloween?” The child will light up like a jack-o-lantern and tell you his or her fabulous plan.
For those of us who don’t have trick-or-treaters to get ready, our thoughts automatically revert to our memory banks.
Things I hate/hated about Halloween:
- Trick-or-treaters who are bigger than me and aren’t costumed. We give them candy anyway so they’ll go away, without throwing eggs at us.
- Late night trick-or-treaters. After I’ve gotten in and out of my chair for several hours, my workout is complete by 8:00pm. GO. TO. BED.
- When my beautifully carved pumpkin got smashed as a kid.
- When I was a ballerina and Mom made me wear a coat over my tutu.
- The stress of being a working mom when my kids were little. They’d beg me to hurry home, but I couldn’t because it was end of the month. “WE’LL GO WHEN WE GO AND THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF CANDY, SO JUST COOL YOUR JETS!”
- No time to feed your kids real food, so they have the four revised food groups: sugar, chocolate, nuts and coconut.
- Jolly Ranchers, Tootsie Rolls, Lifesavers, jawbreakers and Apples. You call this candy? All I wanted was Snickers, Bazooka and Slow Pokes.
- When kids have their hearts set on Mario or Elsa, and costumes are sold out.
Things I love/loved about Halloween
- Excited little kids thinking, “BEST. NIGHT. EVER!”
- Sitting on the floor after the haul, sorting candy.
- The neighbor that gave out FULL SIZE Hershey Bars. Slam-dunk.
- When kids dress their dogs up to complete the theme, like Wizard of Oz. Except Toto is a Great Dane in gingham. It’s all about the effort.
- Halloween, college-style when we got to say, “Trick-or liquor!”
All time favorites:
When Korey (age 4) and Nick (2) got the measles on THE day. We gave our friend, Brett, $20 to go buy candy and bring it to them at the house. He even dressed up like a cowboy. Reverse trick-or-treating. Huge holiday save. Whew.
When our co-worker was late to work because of her husband’s procedure. Imagine her in the waiting room dressed up like Fidel Castro. What a perfect day for a vasectomy. We coined it, “Holloweinie!” and laughed all day. Poor guy.
Happy Halloween! I hope your little pumpkins shine brightly! Remember milk bones for the dogs and Gerber juice bags for trick-or-treaters without teeth!