For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jeff, the other side of Bobbe. She asked me to write a guest blog. I assume this first time request was in disguise of her saying, “You’re bored. Leave me alone!”

The Times Are A-Changin’. In so many small ways, this damn virus is changing lives. For myself, I see so many changes that are positive in the environment, which is otherwise filled with so much negativity. I am tired of daily updates of contracted cases and death counts…this isn’t a damn NBA game. Can’t they just report it as a percentage up or down?

Let’s Stop The Blame Game. I don’t care what country COVID-19 came from and I certainly don’t care who is doing the best or worst job handling the crisis. In the end, it will be we, the people: frontline health professionals, first responders, garbage professionals and etc., but mostly, it is up to all of us to take responsibility for it and defeat it!

I am neither a republican or democrat. I am sickened by what I have seen in Washington DC for many years, but I am encouraged and made more optimistic by the performance of the state governments in this time of crisis. For years now, Hamilton, the Broadway play, has been all the rage and yet, his warning of the federal government stripping state rights and thus, the individual’s rights didn’t get a song.

Okay, enough of the heavy stuff. I vacillate between reality and humor, which affords me some mental balance that Bobbe preaches. She doesn’t realize it, but I do read and pay attention to her messages, even though our perspectives are very different – as is our humor. At first, I’m sure she thought my attempt at humor below was about her. I promised her it wasn’t, but still, she suspects. Anyway, she was more than willing to post it, so that makes me believe she agrees with what’s happening in general.

My god, who is this woman laying next to me in bed? Her nails –usually all digits are filed and polished –  look like she’s been digging a foxhole on a rocky beach. And that hair! It was always trimmed religiously – once a month- to the proper length. Now, I’m thinking: hurricane hair – blown by unseen winds of 87 mph. Please don’t tell me unibrows and goatees on women are now in vogue. This just can’t be happening. I hope she doesn’t fight me for my last razor. The only saving grace is that this woman went gray prior to COVID-19. I mean, she couldn’t cook a cake from a Betty Crocker box mix, let alone tackle her own hair color.

So THIS is how it’s going to be:

• Haircuts: cancelled!

• Mani and pedi’s: gone!

• Brow and chin hair grooming: kaput!

• Color touch ups: buh-bye

Should this lockdown continue into week six, small luxuries, which we’ve taken for granted will continue to be unavailable. We’ve put an inordinate amount of social importance on these above habits for so long. These habits will have changed forever. As money becomes scarce for some individuals, the savings accumulated from cancelled grooming services will add up and be re-evaluated.

Hey! When this is all over, we just might be able to afford that BMW down payment after all!

The OG of eternal optimists, Dad had a great outlook on life. Sometimes too much so! Sometimes, I’d want to say, “Mediocre down, Dad, mediocre down!” He had oodles of life experiences – some life threatening, but his attitude carried him through most of them.

Irvie didn’t do well without answers. He’d really be struggling with the current pandemic. Eventually, he’d come around and resort to a saying, which I’ve said or thought of frequently.

You don’t know what you don’t know.
You may never know what you don’t know.                                                                           You may not want to know what you don’t know.

 Let’s break down the first sentence, in terms of today. You don’t know what you don’t know is a suitable answer for most of our questions. When will COVID-19 be over? Will it hit our city? When will we be able to socialize again?  Is there any hope for a treatment? A cure? Will there be a relapse? Will it be seasonal? Can you become immune? Will it cause a recession? Depression? Rebound?

These are not unreasonable questions. We are all thinking and asking the same ones. Even the best of the best of experts can’t offer answers, only predictions and guesstimates.

Just for today. Let’s accept the unknown and do the logical. Obey the orders to, stay at home and wash your hands and socialize responsibly: 6 feet of separation. Phone-a-friend or loved one, text, e-Mail, snail mail, Skype, Zoom, bloom, vroom. Wait! Bloom? Vroom? Sure, when the weather cooperates, get outside your home and prep the garden, or just appreciate that new grass is growing; . Mow it. There’s a good solitary activity for you. Take a drive to nowhere and back again.

Just for today. Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Until you don’t have to anymore. Relax your angst over the unanswerable, unrelenting questions. Because you don’t know what you don’t know, may NEVER know and may not WANT to know what you don’t know.

Take good care,

Bobbe

Unusual times call for connecting with your bunch!

(ElleGee Design: illustrator)

Feeling a bit on edge and a little (lot) scared? Are you claustrophobic at home already with nowhere to go? Even Lily White, the black Lab, is confused, “I need my space!” She growled. For now, it’s our new normal. And we are the pioneers. Will we – or a loved one – get sick? Lose our jobs? Worst of all, “Will somebody we know and love die from this virus? Dark clouds hang heavy over all of us.

HOLD EVERYTHING! Let’s get positive for a change. You’re joking. Now? Yes, in spite of the gloomy news, there are some terrific stories to read.

Try these for starters:

• NBA’s Zion Williamson, New Orleans Pelicans: paying Smoothie King staff for 30 days. How cool is that?
• Farmacy (skincare): donating 10,000 meals/day to Feeding America.
• Peace Out (Sephora): donating 10% of online sales to Milan hospitals to families and high-risk
• Lipslut: (Love that name!) donating 100％ on line earnings to those affected.
• Korey and friend, Julie, are setting up a type of “Meals on Wheels” for Schaumburg elderlies. It seems our college friend’s son, Johnny Eggert, has a catering company called, “RELISH”. These two caught him on IG and started noodling. The mission: get prepped meals to people. Donations are already flowing, from Illinois to Texas to California to Long Island! (And that boy can cook.)
• Madelyn(6) and Arianna(7) chatted at daycare about their family finances.
  “Mommy, I told her I have dollars in my piggy bank. She said she only had pennies.”

“That’s okay,” Mom said, “Not all kids are as lucky as you.”

Madelyn found tweezers in the bathroom. She tugged one dollar from her bank. And then another. Before daycare Friday, Madelyn asked, “Mommy, is it okay to give these $2.00 to Arianna so she has some dollars in her bank?”

“It is just fine, Madelyn, it’s just fine.”

• Yesterday, Jeff gave a box of Entenmann’s to the little neighbor girls, Haddie and Ellie. He thought they might need a treat by this time in their homebound week.

So what can you do? Check on a friend? Make a call? Face time. Send a text/email. Just tell them, “I want to make sure you’re okay. Do you need anything? How can I help?”  (Check out @Morning Brew for an extended list of how you can help. It may start your juices flowing for your own community.)

Starting today, I challenge you. Look and listen for positives. They’re out there. It will help balance our current world of negatives. Promise. Our family is truly the best. Reach out to those who may need your help. Take good care to all of our family and remember that ours is truly the best!

Love, Bobbe

P.S. We are fine.

“After rain, there’s a rainbow. After a storm, there’s calm. After the night, there’s a morning. And after an ending, there’s a new beginning.”  Unknown.

Part 2 of 2:

Jeff’s message:

The virus has and will put a dent in our lives – whether you’re retired or still diapered. But as with all tragedies, there will be opportunities – stay positive.

Grandma is doing fine. Everyone, please do not go over to her house to visit! If delivering something to her is required, leave it on the porch or visit through the glass door. If the weather warms up, bring a lawn chair for yourself and stay awhile.

Pets: for those of us with pets, remember, they sense our levels of stress and have also noticed their routines have changed. Give them an extra pet, scratch or a special treat. It’s food for them as well as us.

Bobbe and I are blessed to have the following in our freezer: 54 ducks, 19 geese, a side of deer and a partridge in a pear tree. We won’t share them unless you ask. However, if you need fresh meat – call the woods and lakes. They’re loaded up with them this spring and we are bored. Those “orders” will come delivered whole!

Love,

Jeff

An elderly woman sat down at my desk. We’ll call her, “Mary”. She was accompanied by her daughter. We’ll call her, “Pam”.

Pam did most the talking, “I need to be on Mom’s account. She needs help writing checks because she has Macular Degeneration.” 

I directed my  question to Mom, as Pam had no authority in the matter, “Is that what you would like, Mary?”

“Yes I would,” she answered. 

Mom’s information needed to be updated. I collected Pam’s information too. There were a few more questions along the way. 

“Do you need a new order of checks?” 

“Huh?” Mary said.

Clearly, in addition to vision loss, Mary couldn’t hear either.  

I cranked up the volume and enunciated s-l-o-w-l-y, “DO YOU NEED A NEW ORDER OF CHECKS?”

My voice echoed throughout the bank lobby. My co-workers are used to our acoustics. Not only that, we have a number of hearing impaired customers.

Pam repeated the question to her, “Do you need more checks?”

“No, I’ve got plenty.”

I belted out my next question even more s-l-o-w-l-y, “DO YOU WANT PAM TO HAVE A DEBIT CARD?”

“Sure,” Mary said. “That’s fine. It might be more convenient for errands.”

Pam spoke up, “She’s not deaf! She just can’t see.”

UGH. What a rude assumption I’d made! Embarrassment caused heat to instantly rise to my face.

“I am so sorry, Mary,” I apologized. When you didn’t hear one of my questions, I just assumed…”

Why do we jump to conclusions like these? It happens frequently. When they can’t see us, we slow our speech and speak louder. Way too loud. 

Just because someone has vision loss, doesn’t mean they are deaf or mentally impaired as well. But this is how I treated Mary.

I learned a hard lesson that day, “Treat people where they are, not where we assume them to be.”  When Mary answered, “Huh?” to one of my questions, I instantly confirmed in my mind that her hearing, as well as her mental faculties were also compromised. Many of us say, “Huh, what, excuse me”, every day. Sometimes we don’t hear the first time. Other times we’re simply not paying attention.

You’ve heard the adage, “When you assume, it makes an ASS out of you and me.” 

In this case, it wasn’t anybody but me.  Bw