10 Ways to Shop in a Holiday Supply-Chain Delay

Illustration by Bill Beard

Not to add to your holiday stress or anything, but FYI, shopping may be a bit of a pain this year.Yay. Retailers may offer comparable substitutions, but in the event that doesn’t work for you, your order is delayed or sold out, here are some suggestions to save Santa’s sanity!

Before we get to the list, you always have the option of transitioning to cash or checks in lieu of shopping. I’ve heard some parents are doing so this year. If that doesn’t flip your tree skirt, check out my ten ideas below. It might help you brainstorm in other directions. You will note that these ideas involve giving an experience, rather than an item. Sadly, some recipients will find little delight in either cash or an experience—children, for example—because they love unwrapping presents. Lots and lots of presents…

Fortunately, there are experiences available at all price levels, so there’s something for everyone!

Solution #1: Give a vacation! Depending on your spending limit, you get to determine duration, transportation, room, and/or board. This can get pretty rich or not. You choose. (Hey, that Viking Cruise brochure was in the mailbox again. (Should I start packing yet, Jeff?)

Solution #2: Give a seafood, steak, whiskey or wine of the month club membership for 6-12 months. (I’ll drink to that!)

Solution #3: Give ticket(s) to a single show or the entire season of Broadway Shows, local theater, symphony, chorus, or movie passes. Or take the sport route, either as a spectator (Cards vs/ Cubs tickets) or as a participant (Think: gym or yoga membership. Namaste.)

Solution #4: Give a day trip. Meals, gas, or other transportation included. (Would they want to go to the Van Gogh exhibit or a museum? Yes please!)

Solution: #5: Who wouldn’t enjoy a cooking, painting, dancing, or wine-tasting class? No? Okay, keep reading…

Solution #6: Give the luxury of housecleaning once a quarter or month. A gift for a professional organizer is a great idea too. (Dear Family, my door’s always open to this!)

Solution #7: Think beauty with a gift certificate for hair, facial, spa day, massage, or mani-pedi. Bundle it or give a single service. Calgon… take me away NOW!

Solution #8: Give a gift certificate to a restaurant or cool bar. Bring it on! Or in Quincy, IL for example, you can give “Chamber of Commerce Bucks.” So many options…so little time!

Solution#9: How about a paid day(s) off for your caregivers of the elderly, disabled, or child care? Any paid time off will be appreciated. I promise.

Solution #10: Can I tell you how jealous I was of my co-worker, Amanda last Christmas? Her hubby gave her a car wash gift card for once a month! It’s a great de-stressor as well. (Wait! Make mine weekly!)

Happy Stress-free Shopping!


P.S. Do you have other ideas? We might publish a follow-up list!


The Big Purge

To keep or not to keep?

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It’s the unofficial end to warm(ish) weather and the start of freezing our booties. It’s when you can’t find the ONE thing you’re looking for, so you yank every piece of clothing from the closet and throw it all onto a pile on the bed. Just to find that ONE thing. While I’m at it, I might as well weed out summer stuff and my questionable winter stuff.

This year, I invited an objective observer over to help me weed the closet, because it’s tough to be honest with yourself. We’ll call her, “D.J.” She always looks fantastic in whatever she wears, so I thought she would be helpful here. With her colorful comments on my wardrobe, she was like a D.J. And also because those are her initials. She’d be as brutally honest as she’d been years ago at Casual Corner. Too young? Consider it 1997’s version of Ann Taylor, where businesswomen could find suits.

Her comments escalated from polite, to eye rolls, to “OMG! You really wore that in public?” We laughed, because, of course I had. On another item, “I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Dump it!” And another, “Talk about a Sgt. Pepper-ish jacket…” And also, “Don’t even try that on. Get rid of it!”

The Salvation Army now has some new inventory. Yes, I tried a thrift shop first. Its waiting list meant my bad clothes had to live here longer and I might be tempted to wear a piece or two. Besides, some of the castaways were not resale worthy.

The best part was my grey, jumbo yarn, knitted wrap-cape-shawl I found in a funky Chicago boutique. I felt so chic in it, but D.J. said, it was pretty awful. We concluded our session and with a toast of white wine, for her time, honesty, and my appreciation.

Imagine my surprise the next time we visited Korey and Spencer in Chicago. If a cape ever had a mini-me, it was their footstool! The top photo will now make perfect sense. Well, I’ve got to go. I’m off to Salvation Army to reclaim my grey gape-wrap-shawl. I’m going to make a pillow out of it for Korey and Spencer’s wedding gift. I think they’re going to love it!


Life balance

Long Time, No Blog Posts!

HELLO! It’s been a while. Why? (Shrugging emoji!) Excellent excuses follow:

  1. Just couldn’t figure out what to write during COVID. So I didn’t.
  2. Retired from the bank 12/31/2020! I have more time now.
  3. Finally finished writing my book! Say WHAT? What Book? Stay with me…

Whew! This puppy took parts of three years for me to finish writing. I dabbled and dawdled. Life got in the way. Okay, it was pure procrastination. #truth

Why do we procrastinate? Who knows? Unfinished business protects us from having to address the next thing, project, or endeavor. Because THAT’s scary. (And that’s stupid!)

Like chili on a back burner, you can simmer it forever. Stir occasionally and it’ll be just fine.

It’s the same with writing.

Speaking of puppies, we got one! Snow White is a black Lab. Get it? Our name…Snow + White. It was either that or Betty White! If you’re puzzled over a black dog named Snow White, check out Dole bananas when shopping at the grocery. Some of the bunches have the OG Snow White on them. She had black hair. Our Snow took a LOT of my time, which took away from writing. (Oh look, another excuse!) But it was time well invested. She’s a sweetheart! Hairy, but sweet.

Now, back to the book. This is the first book I’ve uploaded to Amazon. It took a few attempts to get it right. I was frustrated and almost didn’t upload it. As they say in football, “The last twenty yards are the longest!” Fortunately, I had a wonderful expert in Bill Beard, to format the pages to Amazon’s specs and encourage me. I’m currently awaiting my first copy. And I’m a little bit nervous. This is due to Murphy’s law for authors, “On the first page to which an author turns, there will be a typo.” I will count on it!

Perfectionism is the devil, but I’ll still be proud of the book. Mainly because I finished it. Yes I did. Simple goals. Even if it isn’t published by Simon and Schuster, Penguin/Random House, or Harper Collins, and it won’t be on the New York Times best seller list—or any list—I still think it has value.

I hesitated to announce it here, because I didn’t want it to seem like this was a pushy sales ploy to buy my book. (Okay, so maybe I did just a little bit.) Basically, I’d love to share my work with you! Hey, if I don’t promote it, who will? There are several ways to get the book:

  1. eBook-Kindle
  2. Paperback on Amazon, or
  3. Paperback direct (i.e. if you live near me in Quincy, IL…book signing event coming soon!)

This book is also the first book I’ve had illustrated. (See below.) Laura Gramke did a great job. Just great! Her drawings are whimsical and they add a lot of personality to the content. In fact, she created a coloring book for big people in the back of the book. Color away, my friend. It’s good for what ails you! And coloring is also found in the book as a tip.

Happy reading,


Life balance

Practicing Help Thanks Wow

Practicing Help Thanks Wow

Bobbe White – 8/02/2020

I asked a friend to recommend a book that had been helpful to her during a tough time as I needed an idea for a struggling friend. She sited Anne Lamott’s bestseller, “Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers.” The ironic thing is that I had given it to her in 2012!

I like this book. So much so, that I reread it this weekend. It’s a brief book and full of ideas on ways to offload problems that are bugging us (HELP!). She shows the benefits of being grateful for seemingly insignificant things (THANKS!) and to acknowledge amazing occurrences (WOW!) I decided to practice below.

Here goes.

HELP! Our refrigerator died May 30. Conked out. Just. Like. That. I moved salvageable food to our basement freezer, gathered coolers, and made multiple trips for bags of ice.

THANKS. We appreciate our new dorm-sized fridge. Jeff argues, “It’s not dorm-sized. It’s 5 feet tall with a freezer compartment.” Okay, so it’s graduate school size. I’ve named her, “Short Stuff.” She’s more efficient than coolers, even as the freezer door pops open when you shut the refrigerator door. Kind of like the Beverly Hillbillies: the phone rings; they answer the doorbell.

WOW! It’s amazing how cold Short Stuff keeps the contents. Or “wow”, is that garage hot or what?” And, “wow,” think of all the weight we’ll lose, because it’s too hot in the garage to fetch food or treats that we don’t need anyway. THANKS for this opportunity! But, HELP! The reverse is happening. I’m consuming more than ever. It’s easier to just eat the rest of something than going out to the hot garage. Sigh.

HELP! Our new fridge was ordered June 1. It’s slow, due to parts being from China. You know why.

THANKS! Store tells us our new fridge landed in St. Louis. (That’s two hours south for east and west coasters readers! In other words, it’s getting closer!)

WOW! Installation is in two days. It’s a pretty big deal as you can imagine.

Here’s another example.

HELP! Last Monday, after work, the house felt warm. The thermostat read 27 degrees Celsius. “Hey Siri! Convert 27 Celsius to Fahrenheit.” Siri says, “That would be 80 degrees Fahrenheit.” Great, Oh hell, I mean, oh HELP! It’s going to be a long night.

THANKS to our fans sleeping was fairly comfortable. Also, THANKS to Jeff who got Wayne, an air conditioning repairman, to come the next day. We’ll be really thankful if it simply needs a charge and some freon.

HELP! The A.C. is kaput. We need a new unit. But “WOW!” Wayne can install the new unit in a few days for $3,000. So, that’s what that stimulus check was for. THANKS Congress!

Also, THANKS Jeff for installing an A.C. window unit in the bedroom. Sleep, glorious sleep!

HELP! The installer had heart palpitations. He’s having tests on installation day. Install tabled for now.

But, hey God, seriously, THANKS for the cool front! At 64 degrees this morning on our deck, I was thankful for my sweatshirt.

Have you gotten the gist using The Three Essential Prayers? Anyway, it’s Sunday, a day of prayer for many people, so a logical day to experiment with Help, Thanks, Wow. There are many things to pray “HELP!” for: our country, racial unrest, the economy, health, students, teachers, parents, and healthcare workers –– basically anything COVID related –– which seems to be everything lately doesn’t it?

There are many things to say, “THANKS!” for. It’s okay if you have to get creative. Like our one cucumber plant, that now spans a 10’ x 4’ foot garden plot. HELP! Cukes have overtaken the garden. Still, “THANKS!” A garden of any vegetable is a good thing. And WOW! There are so many of them. Also, there are myriad ways to pray and personally, I’m thankful for an additional, non-traditional, logical way.

THANKS for reading my post. Now, this is your cue to yell, “HELP!” if needed, say, “THANKS,” when you can and amaze yourself with WOW-worthy things!


Life balance

WTH? (Where’s the humor)

Good Friday Morning! I didn’t mean Good Friday, exactly, or is it? In psychology circles, we call this, “Reality Orientation” and some of us a really struggling with simple things, like, “What day is it?”A43CD6C3-DEAC-4F44-92C5-67E61F7E2E48

SHORT BUT SWEET post today readers. My pinky is impaired. Yesterday I joined a sorority called “Phi Slamma Jamma.”  (See photo.) If you revise the song title, “I Fought the Vault and the Vault Won,” and you know I am a banker, then do the math.  A friend asked, “Burial Vault?” No, thankfully. It was a bank vault. OWWEEEEEE! I get shivers each time I replay it. The good news is that (1) I was the only person in the clinic waiting room, (2) it’s not broken and (3) the biggest loss will be a nail. To RN wrapped it with enough gauze to wrap my entire arm. Long story, short, you’d be amazed at how many times you use your left pinky to type. Who knew? If I speed up it’s going to look like this, “Aweather outsdike is cloudy aqnf Twainy,” (Weather outside is cloudy and rainy.) Sigh. I’ll be fine. I still mowed the grass and walked the dog.

THE (J)OYS OF ON-LINE GROCERY SHOPPING are numerous. I love it. I don’t need to squeeze the melons or look at the lettuce. They select for me. So far, so good. It’s not a perfect system, but perfect enough for me.

LAST SATURDAY I pulled in between two SUVs for my pick-up time slot. I meant to put my drivers license in the back where the hatch is. The clerk can easily ID me for a liquor purchase while social distancing. I also meant to leave a a ten dollar tip under the license. I love tipping hard workers. I stepped out of the car to take the money to the back when my body suit (AKA onesie) came unsnapped at the crotch. ZING! Think of your third grade teacher snapping the classroom window shade. That’s my onesie! I tried tucking it in the front and back of my pants, because to go through the gyrations of resnapping it in the crotch might raise eyebrows by the nearby drivers. ZING! There it went again. There was just too much memory in the elastic. The driver next door looked away, but I could tell she was laughing.  Finally, here came the clerk with my cart of purchases. I pointed out my ID and tip. She was appreciative. “Oh, I forgot the liquor. I’ll be right back.” Lordy, forget the Lima beans. Forget the lunch meat. BUT DON’T FORGET THE LIQUOR!

THE LIQUOR CART, with a different clerk, rounded the building corner. I figured I should tip her too, or she’d be mad at the other girl. She was appreciative. I headed home, unloaded my groceries and realized they’d omitted my dog food. We confirmed it paid for. They would send the dog food with Door Dash. How nice! I realized I should tip the Door Dash driver too. Man, this on-line method was getting pricey!

THIRTY-DOLLARS LATER and a major wardrobe malfunction, I found myself shopping online again. Not for groceries. I’m purchasing a device like our babies used to wear when their onesies got to short. It’s called a “crotch extender.” That should keep my window shade in place! Bw





Life balance

Why We Can’t Have Dinner Parties


(Not now, any time). It’s not cost, space or lack of serving pieces and dishes. Now, that I’ve inherited Mom’s pieces, we are more than equipped. It’s because we have a noise problem. Her name is Lily White, a black Lab with a persistent personality. She’s a beggar.

It’s Jeff’s fault, not mine. He claims Lily saved his life while hunting. He got stuck in mud, quicksand or something gooey. Lily let him grab her collar until he could get his footing. Jeff gratefully vowed to feed her whatever she wanted. Which is everything. That was the beginning of the end of Lily’s table manners.

During COVID-19, we’ve participated in three ZOOM dinner parties. It feels very social. Very enjoyable. The best part: no driving home. The worst part: people want to mute us, thanks to Lily’s incessant barking. She sits quietly underneath the dining room table. For a while. Then she starts tuning up from a yip to a full-out bark.

To quiet her during Passover Seder, I tossed pieces of matzah under the table to her, as well as Charoset. (Apples, nuts, cinnamon, wine), Kugal and matzah ball soup. She loves any main course: beef, pork, fish or fowl.

Lily doesn’t bother Jeff, because he carries the conversation on Zoom and just talks louder over her barks. Meanwhile, I stress, because every time she barks, ZOOM audio cuts out. I worry about the amount and type of food Lily’s ingesting – on top of her dinner which we fed her earlier. I swear, this dog is insatiable.

We “ate” with Tim and Marilyn from Denver on Wednesday. While they engaged in stimulating conversation, I fed Bob Barker. I’d frozen a little cup of dog treat concoction. That lasted forty-five seconds. Next, she got a huge bone, normally lasting hours. This night: maybe seven minutes. I tossed pieces of pasta. Linguini, to be specific. I didn’t want dinner to end, but honestly, I was running out of  food and was afraid of being up all night with a diarrhea dog.

We said good-bye and how we must do this again soon. All I could think of was vacuuming under the table, after assessing the pooch’s picnic. My stress fully evaporated, however, when Lily emerged from under the table. Pieces of linguini were hanging off of her  black head fur in all directions. Okay, so my aim was a little off and I forgot how sticky pasta eventually gets. We got the last laugh of the night. Right before her bagno. That’s Italian for bath.

Take good care,


Life balance

America Has Changed (and it’s a a big hairy deal.)

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jeff, the other side of Bobbe. She asked me to write a guest blog. I assume this first time request was in disguise of her saying, “You’re bored. Leave me alone!”

The Times Are A-Changin’. In so many small ways, this damn virus is changing lives. For myself, I see so many changes that are positive in the environment, which is otherwise filled with so much negativity. I am tired of daily updates of contracted cases and death counts…this isn’t a damn NBA game. Can’t they just report it as a percentage up or down?

Let’s Stop The Blame Game. I don’t care what country COVID-19 came from and I certainly don’t care who is doing the best or worst job handling the crisis. In the end, it will be we, the people: frontline health professionals, first responders, garbage professionals and etc., but mostly, it is up to all of us to take responsibility for it and defeat it!

I am neither a republican or democrat. I am sickened by what I have seen in Washington DC for many years, but I am encouraged and made more optimistic by the performance of the state governments in this time of crisis. For years now, Hamilton, the Broadway play, has been all the rage and yet, his warning of the federal government stripping state rights and thus, the individual’s rights didn’t get a song.

Okay, enough of the heavy stuff. I vacillate between reality and humor, which affords me some mental balance that Bobbe preaches. She doesn’t realize it, but I do read and pay attention to her messages, even though our perspectives are very different – as is our humor. At first, I’m sure she thought my attempt at humor below was about her. I promised her it wasn’t, but still, she suspects. Anyway, she was more than willing to post it, so that makes me believe she agrees with what’s happening in general.

My god, who is this woman laying next to me in bed? Her nails –usually all digits are filed and polished –  look like she’s been digging a foxhole on a rocky beach. And that hair! It was always trimmed religiously – once a month- to the proper length. Now, I’m thinking: hurricane hair – blown by unseen winds of 87 mph. Please don’t tell me unibrows and goatees on women are now in vogue. This just can’t be happening. I hope she doesn’t fight me for my last razor. The only saving grace is that this woman went gray prior to COVID-19. I mean, she couldn’t cook a cake from a Betty Crocker box mix, let alone tackle her own hair color.

So THIS is how it’s going to be:

• Haircuts: cancelled!

• Mani and pedi’s: gone!

• Brow and chin hair grooming: kaput!

• Color touch ups: buh-bye

Should this lockdown continue into week six, small luxuries, which we’ve taken for granted will continue to be unavailable. We’ve put an inordinate amount of social importance on these above habits for so long. These habits will have changed forever. As money becomes scarce for some individuals, the savings accumulated from cancelled grooming services will add up and be re-evaluated.

Hey! When this is all over, we just might be able to afford that BMW down payment after all!


Life balance

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

The OG of eternal optimists, Dad had a great outlook on life. Sometimes too much so! Sometimes, I’d want to say, “Mediocre down, Dad, mediocre down!” He had oodles of life experiences – some life threatening, but his attitude carried him through most of them.

Irvie didn’t do well without answers. He’d really be struggling with the current pandemic. Eventually, he’d come around and resort to a saying, which I’ve said or thought of frequently.

You don’t know what you don’t know.
You may never know what you don’t know.                                                                           
You may not want to know what you don’t know.

 Let’s break down the first sentence, in terms of today. You don’t know what you don’t know is a suitable answer for most of our questions. When will COVID-19 be over? Will it hit our city? When will we be able to socialize again?  Is there any hope for a treatment? A cure? Will there be a relapse? Will it be seasonal? Can you become immune? Will it cause a recession? Depression? Rebound?

These are not unreasonable questions. We are all thinking and asking the same ones. Even the best of the best of experts can’t offer answers, only predictions and guesstimates.

Just for today. Let’s accept the unknown and do the logical. Obey the orders to, stay at home and wash your hands and socialize responsibly: 6 feet of separation. Phone-a-friend or loved one, text, e-Mail, snail mail, Skype, Zoom, bloom, vroom. Wait! Bloom? Vroom? Sure, when the weather cooperates, get outside your home and prep the garden, or just appreciate that new grass is growing; . Mow it. There’s a good solitary activity for you. Take a drive to nowhere and back again.

Just for today. Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Until you don’t have to anymore. Relax your angst over the unanswerable, unrelenting questions. Because you don’t know what you don’t know, may NEVER know and may not WANT to know what you don’t know.

Take good care,


Life balance

Stay Connected: it’s a pretty big deal

Unusual times call for connecting with your bunch!

(ElleGee Design: illustrator)

Feeling a bit on edge and a little (lot) scared? Are you claustrophobic at home already with nowhere to go? Even Lily White, the black Lab, is confused, “I need my space!” She growled. For now, it’s our new normal. And we are the pioneers. Will we – or a loved one – get sick? Lose our jobs? Worst of all, “Will somebody we know and love die from this virus? Dark clouds hang heavy over all of us.

HOLD EVERYTHING! Let’s get positive for a change. You’re joking. Now? Yes, in spite of the gloomy news, there are some terrific stories to read.

Try these for starters:

  • NBA’s Zion Williamson, New Orleans Pelicans: paying Smoothie King staff for 30 days. How cool is that?
  • Farmacy (skincare): donating 10,000 meals/day to Feeding America.
  • Peace Out (Sephora): donating 10% of online sales to Milan hospitals to families and high-risk
  • Lipslut: (Love that name!) donating 100% on line earnings to those affected.
  • Korey and friend, Julie, are setting up a type of “Meals on Wheels” for Schaumburg elderlies. It seems our college friend’s son, Johnny Eggert, has a catering company called, “RELISH”. These two caught him on IG and started noodling. The mission: get prepped meals to people. Donations are already flowing, from Illinois to Texas to California to Long Island! (And that boy can cook.)
  • Madelyn(6) and Arianna(7) chatted at daycare about their family finances.
    “Mommy, I told her I have dollars in my piggy bank. She said she only had pennies.”

“That’s okay,” Mom said, “Not all kids are as lucky as you.”

Madelyn found tweezers in the bathroom. She tugged one dollar from her bank. And then another. Before daycare Friday, Madelyn asked, “Mommy, is it okay to give these $2.00 to Arianna so she has some dollars in her bank?”

“It is just fine, Madelyn, it’s just fine.”

  • Yesterday, Jeff gave a box of Entenmann’s to the little neighbor girls, Haddie and Ellie. He thought they might need a treat by this time in their homebound week.

So what can you do? Check on a friend? Make a call? Face time. Send a text/email. Just tell them, “I want to make sure you’re okay. Do you need anything? How can I help?”  (Check out @Morning Brew for an extended list of how you can help. It may start your juices flowing for your own community.)

Starting today, I challenge you. Look and listen for positives. They’re out there. It will help balance our current world of negatives. Promise. Our family is truly the best. Reach out to those who may need your help. Take good care to all of our family and remember that ours is truly the best!

Love, Bobbe

P.S. We are fine.

“After rain, there’s a rainbow. After a storm, there’s calm. After the night, there’s a morning. And after an ending, there’s a new beginning.”  Unknown.

Part 2 of 2:

Jeff’s message:

The virus has and will put a dent in our lives – whether you’re retired or still diapered. But as with all tragedies, there will be opportunities – stay positive.

Grandma is doing fine. Everyone, please do not go over to her house to visit! If delivering something to her is required, leave it on the porch or visit through the glass door. If the weather warms up, bring a lawn chair for yourself and stay awhile.

Pets: for those of us with pets, remember, they sense our levels of stress and have also noticed their routines have changed. Give them an extra pet, scratch or a special treat. It’s food for them as well as us.

Bobbe and I are blessed to have the following in our freezer: 54 ducks, 19 geese, a side of deer and a partridge in a pear tree. We won’t share them unless you ask. However, if you need fresh meat – call the woods and lakes. They’re loaded up with them this spring and we are bored. Those “orders” will come delivered whole!




Life balance

Don’t assume: it’s a pretty big deal.


An elderly woman sat down at my desk. We’ll call her, “Mary”. She was accompanied by her daughter. We’ll call her, “Pam”.

Pam did most the talking, “I need to be on Mom’s account. She needs help writing checks because she has Macular Degeneration.” 

I directed my  question to Mom, as Pam had no authority in the matter, “Is that what you would like, Mary?”

“Yes I would,” she answered. 

Mom’s information needed to be updated. I collected Pam’s information too. There were a few more questions along the way. 

“Do you need a new order of checks?” 

“Huh?” Mary said.

Clearly, in addition to vision loss, Mary couldn’t hear either.  

I cranked up the volume and enunciated s-l-o-w-l-y, “DO YOU NEED A NEW ORDER OF CHECKS?”

My voice echoed throughout the bank lobby. My co-workers are used to our acoustics. Not only that, we have a number of hearing impaired customers.

Pam repeated the question to her, “Do you need more checks?”

“No, I’ve got plenty.”

I belted out my next question even more s-l-o-w-l-y, “DO YOU WANT PAM TO HAVE A DEBIT CARD?”

“Sure,” Mary said. “That’s fine. It might be more convenient for errands.”

Pam spoke up, “She’s not deaf! She just can’t see.”

UGH. What a rude assumption I’d made! Embarrassment caused heat to instantly rise to my face.

“I am so sorry, Mary,” I apologized. When you didn’t hear one of my questions, I just assumed…”

Why do we jump to conclusions like these? It happens frequently. When they can’t see us, we slow our speech and speak louder. Way too loud. 

Just because someone has vision loss, doesn’t mean they are deaf or mentally impaired as well. But this is how I treated Mary.

I learned a hard lesson that day, “Treat people where they are, not where we assume them to be.”  When Mary answered, “Huh?” to one of my questions, I instantly confirmed in my mind that her hearing, as well as her mental faculties were also compromised. Many of us say, “Huh, what, excuse me”, every day. Sometimes we don’t hear the first time. Other times we’re simply not paying attention.

You’ve heard the adage, “When you assume, it makes an ASS out of you and me.” 

In this case, it wasn’t anybody but me.  Bw